Many folks have had the terrible experience of a romantic partner violating their trust. In today's social world, with its expressions online and off, there are far more opportunities for some partners to behave badly. I remember the day that I found out that an ex-boyfriend of mine had cracked my computer's password and scoured my email account looking for incriminating messages. Before that experience, I had never really considered my email that precious; however, the violation of privacy and trust shook me to my core. Sadly for me, the hilarious and important PSA-slash-social-network thatsnotcool.com didn't exist at the time.
The network, a collaborative project between the Family Violence Prevention Fund, the Ad Council, and the federal Office on Violence Against Women, seeks to empower people of all ages to stand up against abusive and controlling behavior in the online setting. "Your cell phone, IM, and social networks are all a digital extension of who you are," the Family Violence Prevention Fund explains of thatsnotcool.com. "When someone you're with pressures you or disrespects you in those places, that's not cool." The central question that visitors to the site consider and discuss are, unfortunately, timeless and enduring - "when does caring become controlling, and when does affection become obsession?" However, the network primarily concerns itself with the relationships of modern youth, for whom technology and social media play a far more central role socially than past generations. The site's forums are full of stories of boyfriends who use text messaging as a tracking system, girlfriends who break into private email accounts, and frenemies who misuse wall posts to spread rumors. Other visitors - including sociologists and professionals - offer support and suggest strategies for these young people to reclaim their privacy and freedoms in their relationships.
The site includes a selection of Callout Cards - e-cards that enable folks whose friends or partners have violated their online privacy to "call them out" in a safe way. The cards are truly hilarious, and the entire list is worth a look; highlights include "When you pressure me for nude pics, I throw up in my mouth a little" and "Now that you've violated my e-mail account, I won't feel bad dumping you."
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